In the latest twist of the ever-changing animal popularity contest, capybaras have officially dethroned axolotls as the must-have pet-inspired gift this holiday season, sending shoppers into a frenzy of cuteness overload. The slow-moving, long-nosed, paddle-footed creatures, native to the lush wetlands of South America, have jumped into the proverbial shopping pool, splashing vibrant merchandise everywhere and leaving the beleaguered axolotls to sulk in their algae. Once upon a time—specifically last year—axolotls ruled the roost with their quirky gills and permanently smiley faces. But as trends do, the charming amphibians swiftly found themselves submerged in a wave of popularity that has shifted focus to capybaras, the undisputed "it" animal of the moment. "Capybaras represent everything we crave this season," gushed one enthusiastic shopper at the local mall, overflowing with bags of capybara-themed merchandise. "They're cute, they kinda look like giant guinea pigs, and they have the whole 'chill vibe' thing down to a science. My friends are going to be SO jealous when they see my new capybara slippers. Axolotls? Please. They're basically just wet blobs with gills." Retailers are cashing in on the capybara craze, launching a bizarre and exhaustive catalog of merchandise aimed at capturing their fluffy essence. From capybara-themed onesies for adults (because who doesn't want to be a giant rodent while lounging on the couch?) to the much-talked-about "capsule collection" of capybara bath bombs that turn your bathing experience into a soothing swamp of essential oils, customers can't seem to get enough. Social media influencers are also abandoning the axolotl filter for the latest in capybara aesthetics. Instagram feeds now overflow with catchy hashtags like #CapybaraCuteness and #TakeMeToTheCapybaras, as influencers post glamorous pictures of themselves lounging with plush capybara toys in trendy cafes and soaking in bathtubs surrounded by capybara bath bombs. In an effort to reclaim their spotlight, desperate axolotl enthusiasts are resorting to extreme measures, staging protests in front of major department stores, waving placards that read "Make Axolotls Great Again" and "Don't Forget the Axolotls." Yet, despite their protests, the merchandise shelves remain solidly stocked with capybara paraphernalia, as shoppers inexplicably flock towards the creatures that have secured their position as the ultimate in Instagrammable gifts. Critics of the capybara frenzy, predominantly axolotl lovers, fear this new trend will leave these poor aquatic salamanders "completely in the dust." They’ve even launched a campaign stating, "Save the Axolotls: Bring Back the Cute!" which has garnered minimal traction on social media among weary axolotl devotees. As 2023 edges towards a close, it seems capybaras have officially trampled over the competition, basking in the light of holiday Spotify playlists and illuminated Christmas lights. Only time will tell if axolotls can regain their status or if they will vanish into obscurity, eternally scrolling through capybara posts with their sad little gills tucked in. In the meantime, while capybaras bask in their newfound fame, let us reflect on this question: Is this really the kind of world we want to live in, where the most sought-after holiday gift is a plush rodent? The answer, it appears, lies at the bottom of the nearest funky, capybara-themed pool of merchandise.