In a bold new initiative to address California’s seemingly inescapable drought crisis, state officials have proposed what they are calling the "Bury It and Hope for the Best" strategy. This innovative plan revolves around the revolutionary idea of simply burying the state’s water supply underground in a desperate attempt to forget that it exists. "We figured if we can't manage the water above ground, maybe it would be better off six feet under,” explained a spokesperson for the California Department of Water and Other Things That Just Don't Seem to Matter Anymore. “Out of sight, out of mind, right? Plus, we can plant some nice flowers on top. It's a win-win!” The plan will kick off with an expensive, state-funded campaign featuring catchy slogans like “Don’t See It? Don’t Worry About It!” and “If Water’s Not Around, Who Needs It?” To raise awareness, officials will introduce a series of underground themed events including “Silent Waters: The Musical” and “Drought Disco: Dance Like No One’s Drinking!” Critics of the plan have raised concerns about the long-term ramifications of hiding the state’s water supply. "It's a classic case of sticking our heads in the sand,” stated a prominent environmentalist. “Or, in this case, sticking our water in the ground. What if we discover that it’s not really gone, just really, really buried? We might end up with a water-zombie apocalypse!” But fear not, proponents of the plan insist that the initiative will foster a sense of community. “Have you ever tried to borrow a cup of water from your neighbor?” suggested a local politician. “It’s awkward! Now, we can all share our collective denial buried deep beneath us. We’ll bond over our imagination of a future full of rain, just like we used to bond over our shared hatred of traffic!” Meanwhile, farmers across the Golden State are eagerly cheering the proposal, claiming they will now be free to pursue more sustainable practices, like harmonious integration with the Earth and mystically positive thinking. “Water? We don’t need it! We’ll just tell the crops they are on a spiritual journey. That will work, right?” one farmer quipped, wearing a tie-dye shirt that read “Love is the New Water.” In an unrelated press conference, Governor Newsom stood solemnly beside a large tarp labeled “Water Supply” now lying flat against the ground. “Today, we take bold steps into the future,” he stated, shedding a single tear while admiring the tarp. “Come what may, our water will be safe… from us.” As experts predict California will continue to confront severe drought conditions for the foreseeable future, state residents can feel secure in the knowledge that their water woes will now be buried—literally and figuratively. So, as the sun blazes overhead and rivers run dry, Californians will come together under the mantra: “If we act like it’s not there, we just might find a way to find peace!” For the latest updates on this and other ground-breaking initiatives, stay tuned to your local news where reporters will undoubtedly dig deep—although perhaps not too deep—into the story.