In a stunning turn of events that has left the healthcare world both bemused and amused, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield announced today that it will not impose time limits on anesthesia services after all, following a wave of public outcry reminiscent of a toddler's tantrum over broccoli. The insurer, which had recently proposed a policy change that would have effectively turned anesthesiologists into timekeepers rather than medical professionals, faced fierce backlash from patients, doctors, and even the family dog — who has been known to voice his opinions regarding the medical industry by barking at the TV during hospital dramas. “We realized that anesthesia isn’t just a one-size-fits-all pillow,” said spokesperson Kiryluik, who may have mislaid his thesaurus somewhere on the ride to work. “In fact, it is much more complex than that. It’s more like a wide variety of pillows that you might find during a sleepover at Grandma’s house. You have your firm pillows, your soft pillows, and pillows filled with the breath of dreams. The last thing we want to do is limit anyone's sleep experience.” The proposed changes would have enforced arbitrary time limits on anesthesia services, essentially turning anesthesiologists into overzealous flight attendants announcing, "We’ll be serving the blue pill within the next 10 minutes—if you could just hang tight. Your surgery can wait!” Medical professionals across Connecticut, New York, and Missouri swiftly rallied together, posting a flurry of sarcastic memes and live-streaming performances of Shakespeare for Health Insurance Reform. One anesthesiologist was even spotted at a local park conducting surveys with a clipboard and a smiley face sticker in order to push back against the absurdity. Social media erupted with comments from baffled patients who wondered if they would now be subject to an anxiety-inducing countdown clock before receiving the sweet, blissful release of anesthesia. “I always thought the scariest part of surgery was the actual surgery, not some clock ticking down like I’m auditioning for 'Survivor: Operating Room Edition,’” tweeted one particularly vocal patient. Ultimately, Anthem's backtrack on the limits came after a heartfelt letter signed by concerned citizens, medical professionals, and at least three cats pleading for common sense in health care. The collective effort was so powerful that Anthem’s executives were reportedly left shaken, prompting a company retreat with a motivational speaker who specializes in pillow-fort-building techniques. “Rest assured, we will continue to pay for medically necessary anesthesia services,” Kiryluik assured the public, while keeping a watchful eye on the nearest pillow fort. As for the future? Well, wait time for anaesthesia will remain indefinite—a decision applauded by patients and physicians alike, who, let’s face it, would rather be knocked out than subject to the logic of a health insurer. In related news, a new health trend of “DIY Anesthesia” is rumored to be on the rise, with influencers citing the extensive benefits of napping as an alternative to general anesthesia—though experts have yet to endorse the practice.