Title: U.S. Troops to Host 'Farewell Sudan' Evac Party at Embassy, Invite Rival Military Forces for Tug-of-War Contest KHARTOUM, Sudan - In a bold and unconventional approach to foreign diplomacy, U.S. troops are planning to host a "Farewell Sudan" party at the American embassy in Khartoum, complete with a friendly tug-of-war contest inviting the rival military factions as a last-ditch effort to promote peace and unity in the embattled region. The decision to hold the socially distanced extravaganza comes in response to the escalating tensions and ongoing battles between the warring factions in Sudan's capital city. The brainchild of an undisclosed, entrepreneurial staff sergeant, the goal of this farewell fête is to encourage camaraderie and sportsmanship in a time of increased uncertainty. Upon hearing the amusing idea, President Joe Biden endorsed the move wholeheartedly, calling it a "light-hearted break from the doom and gloom headlines, that the world so desperately needs.” The White House has reportedly dispatched a crack team of event planners to Khartoum to oversee the party's preparations. A giant, 200 feet long rope has been specially ordered and shipped to the embassy, as well as patriotic balloons, themed face masks, and copious amounts of American barbeque catering. Sources confirmed, however, that both background checks and temperature screenings will be mandatory for all attendees. No word yet on whether any records or sensitive documents will be shredded before the tug-of-war contest begins. To foster goodwill, the U.S. troops have extended event invitations to both sides of the military conflict, hoping that a symbolic battle of strength over a singular rope will incite unity and peace amongst the presently violent factions. The rival militaries, despite their differences, are expected to dress in matching color-coded uniforms to highlight the spirit of unity. The U.S. Africa Command spokesperson commented, “We are looking forward to this unprecedented event, which will hopefully bring some smiles and laughter to Sudan. Who knows, maybe a good old-fashioned tug-of-war might just solve some of these issues." When asked if they would consider hosting similar events for other American embassy evacuations around the globe, the Pentagon remained tight-lipped, stating only that they "hope the situation in Sudan improves soon." As the world awaits news of how the bash unfolds, many are hoping that this unconventional approach to crisis management could usher in a new age of diplomacy. Meanwhile, the troops on the ground are completing their final preparations, focusing on their rope training and saying their goodbyes to Sudan. Disclaimer: This is a satirical news story, and not intended to be taken as real news.