Terrorist Group to Host Explosive Military Gala; Invitation Only! In an unexpected move, a terrorist group has decided to host a dazzling military gala, the first of its kind, catering exclusively to some of the world's most notorious badasses, with festivities set to explode this summer. Going by the ominously whimsical theme, "A Night of Terror and Tiaras," the planning committee promises a night of wining and dynamiting, with a fashion show of explosive vests, followed by a 21-gun-and-one-RPG salute. "Our ultimate goal is to burst into the social calendar with a bang," said the impeccably dressed and masked spokesperson of the group, known only as "Mr. Boom." "We figured, why spend our time on Twitter recruiting when we can just get everyone to come to us? Plus, everyone loves a good party." Past attendees of the terrorist group's previous events, including street protests and military maneuvers, have been raving about the "top-tier organizational skills" and "explosive creativity" shown by the party's planning geniuses. One drone operator was quoted as saying, "It's going to be lit, especially if I'm piloting that night." Invitations to this highly exclusive soiree have reportedly been hidden in various copies of renowned military guidebooks, disguised as typos. With the guest list predicted to be a veritable who's who of both the terror and ballroom dance worlds, it's safe to say that military formal attire has never been so fiercely debated. "I was thinking of going camouflage, but I don't want to give away my moves on the dance floor," said one invited revolutionary leader, who requested to remain anonymous because of pending international arrest warrants. "Besides, who doesn't love sequins?" False rumors of the menu featuring dishes like, "Twice-Baked Glocks-au-Gratin" and "Bombs Alaska" have been squashed by event organizers; however, they assure there will be no shortage of culinary firepower. The committee has even found a daring culinary substitute for shellfish, boasting "100% more shrapnel to tickle the throat." Sources have also suggested that noted terrorist wedding singer, Hysteria, has been booked for the event. Hysteria is best known for transforming the classic party hit, "YMCA," into the ever-popular, "IED." While no formal RSVP or gift registry has been set up, the terrorist group has kindly requested that guests arrive bearing arms, ammunition, and allergy information for the resident canine tank battalion. And, with no official end time for the gala, there's a high possibility that dedicated partygoers may just dance the night away—at least until the final "unannounced fireworks" display. "Besides the threat of drone strikes, we're really looking forward to networking and learning from our fellow aficionados of chaos," said Mr. Boom. "We're planning a fun icebreaker, like speed dating, but instead of dates, it's safe house options." He added with a chuckle, "I heard our competitors might be crashing the party, but they won't dare to literally blow our minds with their unimaginative tactics."