Title: Gluten-Loving: A Revolutionary Guide to Embrace Your Body's True Enemy Introduction: Are you fed up with the gluten-free craze and all the wannabe food blogs that make you feel like a criminal for engorging on carbs and gluten-full goodness? Worry not! We present to you the ultimate guide to not only accept, but also embrace gluten in your life with open arms and elastic waistbands. Introducing "Gluten-Loving: A Revolutionary Guide to Embrace Your Body's True Enemy." Step 1: Cherry-picking scientific evidence Confused between that one study that says gluten is the root of all evil and the other that says it isn't? Who cares? We've done the work for you! Pick out random, unverified studies that claim gluten is good for you. Anyone who tries to challenge you will be drowned in a sea of unverified studies, and your gluten-loving lifestyle will remain unscathed. Step 2: Blame other food items for your misfortunes Let's face it; it's too easy to blame gluten for all of your bodily woes. Acne, indigestion, hallucinations – it's time to stop giving gluten all the credit! Switch it up a bit and throw lettuce, apples, or even water under the bus. The more creative you get, the better; just make sure you put the blame on other food groups while stocking up on baguettes and pasta. Step 3: Create recipes for a healthy gluten-loving diet In order to fully embrace your gluten-loving lifestyle, start by creating gluten-soaked recipes that incorporate items from other parts of the food pyramid. For example, a healthy salad made of croutons, toasted bread, and a touch of lettuce or a smoothie made of beer, flour, bran, and milk are nutritious and gluten-full options to add to your satirical cookbook. Step 4: Build a community with fellow gluten rebels Fight the gluten-free trends by creating a community with fellow gluten lovers. Establish clandestine meeting spots disguised as gluten-free bakeries, where you secretly indulge in the forbidden fruit of gluten-infused foods. Build an army of wheat worshippers committed to spreading the good word of gluten. Step 5: Secure human and financial resources to take over the world Set up Kickstarter campaigns to collect funds for gluten-loving members to invent new gluten-based foods and develop innovative methods of gluten delivery to change the world. From gluten-powered cars to gluten-infused pillows, the possibilities are endless! Step 6: Convert gluten-free aisles in supermarkets into gluten-loving sanctuaries Last but not least, infiltrate various supermarkets' gluten-free products and replace them with covert plates of gluten-dense alternatives. Watch in amusement as customers unwittingly devour gluten and revel in their misery. Over time, gluten-loving spaces become more established and will ultimately overtake gluten-free options in the market. Conclusion: By following this revolutionary guide, you've not only learned to embrace gluten but also have helped the world rediscover its love for gluten-filled foods. Band together with your fellow gluten lovers, and let your united wheat-loving voices be heard! Together, we'll show the world that gluten isn't the enemy – it's our squishy, chewy, delicious best friend!