BELARUS, Australia (RWB) - There's nothing more Australian than a well-defended cabbage patch, and a newly emerged militia has taken up arms to protect this treasured resource. "Operation Cabbage Crusade" was launched earlier this week after farm worker, Keith "Dingo" Douglas, discovered suspicious cabbage nibblings on the precious greens. Dingo, a retired military man who served in the Australian Air Force, has never backed down from a challenge. After his favorite kangaroo passed away, he turned in his boomerang and began working on a farm to find peace and tranquility. But as the saying goes, once a soldier, always a soldier. "This is a clear breech of our sovereignty, mate," Dingo grimly mused, as he surveyed the battlefield, armed with an air rifle and a vegemite sandwich. "Never in me life have I seen such outright hostility! Someone tried to eat me cabbage — partially." The farm owner, who wisely wishes to remain anonymous, gave Dingo permission to take "any and all necessary action" to defend the cabbages from further enemy attacks. Dingo wasted no time, quickly assembling a squad of kangaroo and wombats (why not?) to aid in ambush operations against "the furry bastards" after consulting with Digger — a crocodile who has become Dingo's confidante and war council advisor. The precise nature of the assailants remains unknown. Although various wildlife candidates are being painstakingly ruled out, this cabbage patch crasher has not confirmed its identification. Possible suspects continue to deny responsibility, with the marsupials pointing fingers at bandicoots, and the reptiles accusing cane toads. "Regardless of their species," Dingo explained, "once we establish their pattern of movement, we'll unleash hell while they're caught in our crosshairs!" Farm owner Kira, who has described herself as "a bit of a hippie," expressed her gratitude and support for Dingo's efforts in a harrowing Instagram post, complete with cabbage emojis and the hashtag: #CabbageDefenseForce. "I knew when I hired Keith that he had a military background," she mused, stroking her environmentally-conscious blouse, made of Birkenstock. "It was the precision with which he placed seedlings in the ground that tipped me off. He did it in formation, with surgical accuracy — calling one row Bravo, and another Charlie. I'd never seen anything like it." Despite his resolve, Dingo is not without his critics. Some locals argue that "Operation Cabbage Crusade" occupies a gray area in terms of legal authority, while others have praised him as a national hero. One fan sent him a crate full of stuffed koalas as a token of support. As this Aussie legend marshals his troops to protect cabbage and country, one thing is clear: his stance on cabbage-crunching villains is as solid as a wallaby hiding in a pouch. "You've come to the wrong patch, you soft-headed marsupial!" he'll bellow, should they make the mistake of returning. "Haven't they learned by now? Your tricks won't work in this land Down Under."