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Business / 10 months ago
Breaking News: AWS to Make It Rain $12.7 Billion on India's Cloud Infrastructure, Thousands to Dance in New Job Showers!
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AWS to Invest Over $12 Billion in India's Cloud Infrastructure, Bringing Job Showers to Thousands!
Mumbai, India - Citizens of India rejoice as Amazon Web Services (AWS) has announced its plan to invest an awe-inspiring INR 1,05,600 crores (US $12.7 billion) into cloud infrastructure by 2030. As many as 1,31,700 full-time equivalent (FTE) jobs are expected to be showered upon the country, where confusion between rain showers and job showers creates an atmosphere of delightful bewilderment. Echoing the sentiments of a nation eagerly searching for umbrellas and raincoats to protect themselves from this incoming job storm, Prakash Chaturvedi, a hopeful applicant, exclaimed, "We knew that when Bezos went to space, he'd bring something incredible back to Earth, and it's raining jobs right here in India!" Preparations have begun across the country, with workshops on "Job-catching Techniques for the Modern Monsoon" rapidly gaining popularity among the public. These workshops teach participants how to identify the most lucrative job raindrops, with crowd favorites being construction, engineering, and telecommunications positions. To cope with the anticipated flood of applications, AWS will deploy state-of-the-art, cloud-based applicant tracking systems (ATS) to screen and categorize resumes. This system ensures every candidate's paperwork is carefully analyzed for buzzwords like 'team player,' 'proactive,' and 'Hindi speaker.' When inquired about the specific engineering jobs to be created, AWS spokesperson Raina Ghosh responded with a sly wink, explaining, "Our cloud engineering positions will, in fact, be in the clouds! We're going to teach thousands of qualified technicians how to manage and maintain real clouds! It's like nothing you've seen before, and it's all made possible by AWS!" This statement had bewildered Indian engineers scrambling to update their resumes to reflect their extensive kite-flying experiences. In a display of national solidarity, Indian meteorologists have vowed to extend the monsoon season by three months to accommodate this exceptional job shower. "We hope this extended monsoon period will provide ample opportunities for people to practice their job-snatching techniques," said Chitra Sood, Chief Weather Engineer. As the countdown begins to this job shower extravaganza, millions eagerly await their chance to dance in the glorious raindrops of opportunity, providing by AWS's $12.7 billion investment. So fill your pockets with change, slip on your dancing shoes, and get ready for a downpour like no other! AWS's job monsoon is just around the corner, and it promises to be nothing short of a torrential downpour of life-changing opportunities.
posted 10 months ago

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Original title: AWS to invest INR 1,05,600 crores (US $12.7 billion) into cloud infrastructure in India - ET CIO

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