TUSCALOOSA, AL—The University of Alabama is slated to host a 36-hour intellectual jam known as "Bama Blowout: Brains, BBQ, and Boogieing" this weekend. The cognitive extravaganza, rumored to be the biggest party in the Deep South since the invention of the pinwheel, will merge the worlds of master scholars and rowdy tailgaters for the first time in history. "I had this vision, you see," shared third-year Philosophy major and event organizer, Buford "Bubba" Williams Jr. "I imagined the great minds of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle walkin' in, beer pong balls in hand, exchanging thoughts with the greatest tailgaters of our generation." Faculty members, still recovering from the 2016 "Latkes and Lectures Lock-in," have tried to temper students' excitement. But resistance is futile as hopeful participants have already begun reserving their campus Quads by pitching tents near libraries and queuing up scholarly articles on keg stands. "Finally, a chance to get my hands dirty," sighed Dr. Clementine Jameson, a Tenured Professor of Theoretical Physics. "I have been working on the physics of the perfect cornhole toss for decades. I'm looking forward to blowing some redneck minds." Williams envisioned a rendezvous where sweet Southern BBQ could inspire even sweeter intellectual ideas. However, the University Faculty Union cited numerous concerns in a formal statement, including "potential food poisoning from tainted pulled pork IQ sliders" and "philosophical debates enhanced by not-so-sober reasoning." "The academic community is deeply concerned about the students' ability to differentiate between the works of Robert Frost and Yellowstone (the campus pet pig)," a statement issued by the union warned. Despite these warning signs, the University's student body has fully embraced Bama Blowout, launching fundraising campaigns to ensure enough funds are raised for multiple dunk tanks filled with sweet tea, and 500 gallons of cocktail sauce for the shrimp eating contest. Already, student organizations are preparing for the hybrid festival. The debate team, in collaboration with local fraternities, has been diligently setting up speakers for an open-mic rap battle, while the department of astronomy is hosting an all-night "Stargazing and Moonshining" workshop. "We want our peers to open their minds, one belly flop at a time," shared English major and event co-chair Trudy-Anne Jameson, the sister of Dr. Jameson. "We'll have everything from chessboxing and Greco-Roman wrestling in banana pudding, to a good ol' fashioned Shakespearean bull-riding contest." Time will tell if the destined fusion of academia and Southern conviviality can withstand the intensity of "Bama Blowout," but for now, as Bubba says, "it's a mind-meldin', hootenanny, finger-lickin', thesis-writin', all-you-can-eat buffet of scholarly tomfoolery."