LAVERTON, AUSTRALIA -- In an unexpected turn of events, the tiny town of Laverton in Western Australia has fallen under new management. Thousands of kangaroos were ousted in a bloodless coup early last Thursday morning, as the town was swiftly occupied by a throng of human encroachers. "There was nothing we could do," explained Joe Hopcourt, a local boxing kangaroo and long-time resident of Laverton. "Back in the day, we could have boxed our way out, but these humans are getting smarter. Also, they have cars." Local citizens are mourning the loss of their marsupial-run utopia. "I'm devastated. I came out here specifically to be ruled by kangaroos, and now it looks like those days are over," lamented Greg Stringer, a heartbroken tourist visiting the marsupial sanctuary. Petitions have already begun circulating to bring justice to the displaced animal citizens. A spokesperson for the occupiers denied any violation of kangaroo rights. "We're just here to use Laverton as a hub for our comprehensive mining operations," explained Gina Stockworth, CEO of Big Kangaroo Mining Plc. "The kangaroos were aware of our intentions and gladly handed over the keys to the town - but not without some sweaty negotiations." In light of the occupation, many of the displaced kangaroos are seeking asylum abroad. "Pouchfuls of them are hopping across the deserts in search of new homes," commented Sheila Bouncewater, a local kangaroo caregiver. "America, Europe, even Antarctica. It's a real exodus situation." Across Australia, the public has expressed outrage at the expropriation of Laverton. In response to the crisis, activists have organized a series of 'Hoptivist' protests to demand the return of the town to its kangaroo roots. "I don't care if they're just here for mining rights or if they want to make Laverton the next Silicon Valley. It's a fundamental outrage to snatch this town from the marsupials who rightfully own it," declared Earl Pouchbury, leader of the Hoptivist movement. "Tear down the windmills, burn the fossil fuels, and return to the good old days of kangaroo dynasty," he added. While tensions mount, and as the kangaroos continue bowing out to new hop-sdictions, an unlikely hero has emerged. Famed Aussie Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin (may he rest in peace), has taken up the cause from the grave: "I tell ya, mate, this is a crisis like I've never seen before. And if there's one thing Australia doesn't need, it's more pissed-off kangaroos. Crikey!" he cried out in a spiritual guided medium session. All the sentient creatures of Australia are now holding their breath for a resolution, be it a nonviolent negotiation or an all-out boxing match. Until then, it is a hoppy-ng tale of woe and loss, as the Aussie Laverton faces an uncertain future.